Sunday, September 30, 2007

The Tragedy of MacBrown

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"Ron Prince Was From His Mother's Womb Untimely Ripped?"

Wow. What a Saturday. Apparently, Baylor wasn't the only BCS contender to have its post-season ambitions derailed by a lesser team. Urban Meyer looked a lot more like Rural Meyer after Florida's second straight year of losing to Auburn. EDSBS is trying to cope by drawing parallels to the French Revolution after a pretty sweet streak of 2 hoops titles and one pigskin title. Bob Stoop's lucky visor couldn't save him as the Okies went down to the hapless CU Buffs. And finally, that great Scottish king of Austin, MacBrown, whose lust for blood and power is infamous throughout the land, fell to the hands of Chum's dearest Wilcats in perhaps the biggest walloping of the day. PB at Burnt Orange Nation has taken to playwriting and pretty white girls to deal with this loss.

Meanwhile, back in coaching Purgatory:

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GuyMo: "I'll definitely email your resume to Ian McCaw. No problem."

Also, thanks to the WacoTrib Gallery of the game for this moment of post-game pathos:

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These are the times that try men's souls.

And, hell, while we're at it, we'd like to introduce a couple of outstanding blogs. First is chum's new blog, CATLAB, which is incredible! Check it out for all your psychadelic, drug-induced K-State video needs. Secondly, we seem to have a new friend over at Mizzourah, a very Missouri blog. Check out his great Big12 CFB teams as Mike Tyson's Punchout characters. Pretty clever.

Hopefully your time in church this morning will exorcise the sins of the Baylor receiving corps in College Station yesterday. Sic 'em, Bears and God Bless Baylor!

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Bear vs. Soldier: Dropped Passes

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A Win over Baylor: The Ultimate Aggie Aphrodisiac

A reading from the book of Job, verses 1 through 11.

Job Speaks

After this, Job opened his mouth and cursed the day of his birth. He said: "May the day of my birth perish, and the night it was said, 'A boy is born!' That day—may it turn to darkness; may God above not care about it; may no light shine upon it. May darkness and deep shadow claim it once more; may a cloud settle over it; may blackness overwhelm its light. That night—may thick darkness seize it; may it not be included among the days of the year nor be entered in any of the months. May that night be barren; may no shout of joy be heard in it. May those who curse days curse that day, those who are ready to rouse Leviathan. May its morning stars become dark; may it wait for daylight in vain and not see the first rays of dawn, for it did not shut the doors of the womb on me to hide trouble from my eyes. "Why did I not perish at birth, and die as I came from the womb?"

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Friday, September 28, 2007

Bear vs. Soldier: Fran, We Hardly Knew Ye

It's a shame really. The Agrics deserve a fellow like Fran. He is as moronic and thoughtless as the buffoons that choose to go to College Station to feast on bestiality and Keystone Light. Fran is a dead man walking. He truly is an Aggie in heat.

With all that in mind, BearMeat cannot honestly believe that Fran is a real ball coach. Dare we say a real human being? The Alico is full of conspiracy theorists, and here is our take on who really is in control of the putrid stench that lies south of us down the Brazos.

We'll let you guys decide who is actually running the "football" program at Ass & Mule.



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Thursday, September 27, 2007

Bear vs. Soldier: Bring Me the Head of Dennis Franchione

We of the BearMeat Editorial Board are head hunters. More specifically, we have a collection of severed heads of coaches who are fired after losing to Baylor. So far, the heads of basketball coaches Quin Snyder and Melvin Watkins are on display in the Will Ferrell Center at Baylor. One type of head is desperately missing: the head of a head football coach.

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"Things won't be so bad without your head, Coach."

Right now Dennis Franchione is a heavyweight in the 10th round, about one punch away from being knocked on his ass. He's on the ropes, he's teetering back and forth. His vision is blurry. He can't seem to get his balance. Up steps the underrated and unexpected contender to the title: a grizzly old veteran that every one had counted out . . . except himself. Fran is so weakened and vulnerable right now - if his team is nearing anything like the demoralization of the students, alumni and fans of Ass & Mule, then The B may just have a decent chance of toppling the Ags. Fran's sad-sack Agrics may not know what hit them. As soon as they look up, they'll see the boys in Green & Gold holding the Battle of the Brazos trophy (which is actually a live feral pig) and realize they have been knocked on their ass.

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"Baylor has shamed me before, Lord. Don't let them do it at Kyle."

Will we see another Miracle on the Brazos? Will our win be the final nail in Fran's coffin? Will a victory over A&M at Kyle (not since Reagan was in office) finally exorcise the demons of the Big12 Era for Baylor? Will we be able to sneak Rebel Yell into the game? How many interns does it take to kidnap an Aggie? What will Reveille taste like after Mama & Papa B grill her up nice and tender? Many questions remain. The final question is not for partisans of the B, but for our country cousins 70 miles down river:

When will your long, campus-wide nightmare finally be over?

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Fran: "Won't someone please put me out of my misery?"

UPDATE: Out of the mouths of Brospehs . . .

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Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Bear vs. Soldier: The Plague of Dead Pigs

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Dead Pig Found in FIJI Sand Volleyball Court - Seriously

Nothing could be more ominous before the Battle of the Brazos against Ass & Mule than numerous dead pigs showing up on student's doorsteps around campus. [Lariat Link] Even more ominious is that a dead pig was also found laying at the feet of the Rufus Burleson statue. Was this an Aggie prank directed at BearMeat? The Lariat reporter tasked with reporting on this seemed to have interviewed perhaps the most oblivious white girls on Baylor campus, and I quote:

Senior Katie M. found a large black pig bleeding on her front porch when she came home around 2:30 a.m. Wednesday. She called her roommate inside the house, telling her to come out to the porch. McKinnon explained to her roommate, "A hog. Oink-oink. Pumba is laying in our front yard." Katie M. called 911 immediately. "The emergency guys were laughing at me saying, 'There's a dead hog on your porch? Is this a joke?'" Katie M. said she believed that police could have been more sensitive and helpful. "They didn't really want to help me figure out who did it in the first place. They didn't take the initiative. They spent more time laughing at me and my response to it than really helping the situation," said Katie M.

First off, does a dead pig with a bullet in its head merit dialing 9-1-1? Isn't that line for living human emergencies? I wouldn't be surprised if the EMTs and police dispatched on the living human emergency phone line were a bit amused to find a dead pig and a concerned Baylor girl. I guess she expected funeral-like somber tones for her doorstep pig tragedy. Why was she getting home at 2:30am? That is suspiciously right after closing time in Waco bars.

Secondly, the Lariat reporter twice refers to the Burleson statue as the "Judge Burleson statue." Rufus wore many hats, but he never served in the judiciary. A little fact-checking would help with the credibility of your reporting from time-to-time.

Thirdly, what does all this portend for the Aggie game? We humbly ask our readers to explain the Biblical significance of a plague of dead pigs. Are we supposed to be "letting my people go"? Who are the capitves? Fran? GuyMo?

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Tuesday, September 25, 2007

The B Screams for Buffalo Meat: A Texan's New York Odyssey

[The following is Assistant Editor Curtis Edmonds's account of his sojourn deep into upstate NY for the Baylor vs Buffalo game. The titles, subtitles, text, photos and captions are all the authors. This is perhaps the greatest guest post in BearMeat history. Check out Curtis's blog, Northbound, for more quality writing. Also, his previous work for us as part of the BearBacker Voices Summer Lecture Series is definitely worth your time. Enjoy! - Eds.]

The B Screams For Buffalo Meat: An Ever-So-Slightly Gonzo Tale Of Fear, Loathing and Football In The Savage Heart of the University at Buffalo (Part One of Two)

Opening Argument

My name is Curtis Edmonds. I am a Baylor graduate, currently practicing law in Trenton, New Jersey. I am here today, guest-blogging on Bear Meat, because the total Bear Meat travel budget was – apparently – swallowed up in a midsummer incident involving Eskimo Joe’s bar in Stillwater, Oklahoma, a fifth of Rebel Yell whiskey, and naked pictures of Chuck Reedy. (I am pleased to report that all involved seemed to have avoided Norman, Oklahoma, and therefore escaped with their manly organs intact.) Anyway, I was the only one left who could afford to make the long, arduous trek up to Buffalo. (A trek made even more long and arduous by the fumble-fingered bumbling by Newark air traffic control and Continental Airlines, but that’s another story.)

I begin by getting two items out of the way. First, if you get all of your news from Bear Meat – and you certainly could – you might be under the misimpression that the entire Northeastern United States is covered by a glacial ice sheet and overrun by wooly mammoths. This is not in fact the case. Although the White Witch – who, as everyone knows, is responsible for afflicting Northeasterners with such curses as blizzards, lake-effect snow and Shop-Rite running out of eggs, bread and Swiss Miss cocoa – is still active in these parts, she is operating under a federal injunction that mandates warm weather until November, or until the New York Yankees are eliminated in the first round of the playoffs, whichever comes first.




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Oh, come on, don’t tell me that you’re surprised about this.

In reality, it was a nice, warm day in Western New York, the last day of summer, in fact. The weather was in the eighties all day, and it never dropped much below, say, sixty degrees. You can see the leaves just starting to turn in this photo, taken during the first quarter – and note the random clueless Buffalo students – more about them in a minute – wandering around the periphery of the stadium. We have a football team? Really?


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Let us cross over the goal line, and rest in the shade of the end zone.


This is the other thing. Like the great Dr. Gonzo, I am a lawyer – although, unlike him, I am reasonably competent at my job. I write a lot, too, and I can put the occasional sentence together if pressed. But I am a lousy photojournalist. I was in an excellent place to take photos – seats on the thirty-yard line, first row of the cheap seats, nobody in front of me – but the lighting is screwy on a lot of these pictures, and my digital camera gets a little fuzzy on close-up shots, and… well, you’ll get the idea:

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Fear the handrail.

Baylor: The Party of the First Part

The Powers That Be in the Baylor officialdom had set up a tent under the south bleachers, and we stopped by to get cut-rate (compared to stadium prices) hot dogs and lemonade at the pre-game rally. (The use of “we” here includes my wife, who is not a Baylor grad – she went to Rutgers, which a) has a recent record of football futility comparable to Baylor and b) a completely shocking record of even more recent success, including a bowl game victory, and c) she knows it.) We got there a bit late, and ended up eating just as they were finishing up. Just about all the Baylor supporters who had made the trip up were there, a larger crowd than anyone would have expected.

Not only did I not expect the sheer number of attendees – neither did the caterers; they ran out of burgers – I didn’t expect that the average age of said attendees would be up there in Ed McMahon territory. At one point, one of the speakers asked if any current members of the Board of Regents were in the audience, and about half of the attendees raised their hands. And then, the speaker asked if any former Regents were in the audience, and the other half raised their hands. If you don’t count the Alumni-Association flacks, the cheerleaders, and the occasional grandchild, I was maybe the youngest Baylor person in the crowd, and I’m old enough to remember when Robin Williams was funny.

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The Baylor crowd in the fourth quarter, wondering if it’s bedtime yet.


The next-youngest person was probably Walter Abercrombie, who (compared to everyone else there) was the picture of youthful enthusiasm. Walter was easily the most enthusiastic, charismatic, and (let’s be honest) blackest person under the tent. He is also almost ten years older than I am. I don’t know what this says about the last twenty years of Baylor fandom. Actually, that’s a big fat lie. I know exactly what it says; you do, too.

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Caution: Walter Abercrombie may appear blacker in this photograph than he actually is in person.

They also brought President Lilley up to speak, and he did what university presidents do; sound impressive while saying nothing in particular. I have to hand it to Lilley for two things, though. First, he sat with the Baylor crowd in the top row of the good seats (not that far away from where we sat, really) instead of decamping to the press box or a skybox. (He walked right by me on the concourse at one point, and I almost could have asked him about the rumors about the interlocking BU, except that I would have to have explained to him who I was, and what BearMeat was, and what a “blog” was, and I decided it would be best to not enlighten him to that degree.) The other thing was that he wore a stylish (completely absurd, but stylish) yellow Stetson the whole game, and anybody willing to do that demands our respect.

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“Young man, see that green flat thing over there?
When I was your age, we used to call that a football field.”

Or, shall I say, demands our respect for just long enough to do a Google Image search:



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Yeah, make all the “separated at birth” jokes you want,
it still beats having Sloan around.

Buffalo: The Party of the Second Part

And then there were the Buffalo fans, many of whom came disguised as empty seats:

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Switch to Geico now and get 15% off your end-zone
season tickets to all Buffalo Bulls football games!



And then there were the Buffalo cheerleaders:

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“Waiter? I’ll have the muffin tops, please.”

And then there were the Buffalo fans:

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Looking Buff-fabulous!


And then there were the Buffalo… well, a picture says a thousand words:

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The Buffalo Chapter of “Friends of Brock”

What you want to know, I guess – and what pictures can’t convey adequately – is the whole blessed atmosphere of the thing. That’s the thing about college football, the atmosphere. Walking into Floyd Casey, watching the Baylor Line circle the field, and hoping nobody drops his Rebel Yell flask on the field accidentally, that’s atmosphere. Going into the Cotton Bowl, watching OU play Texas, corny dog whiff in the air, with the Big XII on the line, that’s atmosphere. Going into Kyle Field, watching crew-cut Agriculturalist gits in paramilitary uniforms goose-stepping their way through halftime, that’s atmosphere. Let’s just say you don’t go to the University at Buffalo (the actual name of the school) for the atmosphere. The big pre-game attraction that had the crowd excited was some random dufus trying to get on an oversized unicycle. I am not even making this up. (He had to have two sturdy Buffalo fans hoist him up on their shoulders so he could mount his butt on a long, shiny metal pole, and there wasn’t one thing homoerotic about it, so get it out of your filthy minds.)

Not to say that there wasn’t some interesting stuff going on:

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“I am not a number. I am a human being. I am… down, Rover! Down! AAAAARGH!”

Not to mention the Buffalo band’s salute to Dreamgirls, which again I am not making up:

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“I'm somebody, and nobody's gonna hold me down... I'm somebody!”

What photography can’t capture here, though, is the essential truth about Buffalo; everyone was just so God-blessed nice. Everyone we talked to the whole entire trip was nice. The burnt-out clerk at the rent-a-car counter was nice. The Border Patrol people at the Rainbow Bridge were nice (although one wouldn’t want to smuggle firearms past them, not that I tried). The immigrant hotel chambermaid was nice. The waiter who brought out the cart for the table service of Chateaubriand at the historic old restaurant in Niagara Falls (sadly, not on the Bear Meat expense account) was nice. And – this was a shock – even the Russian cabbie taking us back to the Sheraton was nice. (You get a Russian cabbie in New York, you start thinking about how it all will look when it’s recreated as the cold open to a Law & Order episode.)

Most of these people were in Canada, mind you (the hotels on the Canadian side of Niagara Falls have the better view), and Canadians are famously nice. Crossing the border back into the U.S., you sort of expect the Northeastern attitude to take over, but it never did. The sullen-faced tailgaters in the student parking lot were nice – asking us, in slightly-impressed tones, if we’d made the drive up from Texas. (I didn’t have the heart to tell them the truth.) Although I was decked out in green-and-gold, sitting in a Buffalo section, nobody said Thing One to me – and I kinda deserved it.

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The author, flinging his green and gold too far.

Even the people in my section who were vocal – the vast minority – were vocal in the sort of baleful, sarcastic way familiar to any Baylor fan. (“Don’t run trick plays!” one of them complained. “What do you think you are, the Bills?”) After the game – a game that the B dominated from start to finish – I actually heard a random Buffalo fan thanking a random Baylor fan for coming up to Buffalo to support their program. Nobody’s that nice, even pseudo-Canadians. There has to be a reason.

Of course, the nicest person in the stadium that day would turn out to be Buffalo quarterback Drew “Free” Willy, but that’s a story for our next installment, in which we discuss, you know, the actual game and stuff. Sic ‘em.

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Bear vs. Soldier: Dereliction of Duty

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Sec. Gates posing with historical re-enactors


It wasn't that long ago that BearMeat was claiming that the Ags had toppled the LongHorn Empire and were ushering in a new era of barbarism in the Big12 South. Things looked good for the Aggies - they had an Aggie Governor of Texas, the best young basketball coach in the U.S. who turned the program around in one year, and a football team that had finally toppled mighty Texas, on their home turf, no less. Yes, those days appeared to be the Halcyon days of Aggie Athletics. The baseball team soon took the Big12 title and it looked like the Aggies were soon going to BTHO of Al Qaeda if things kept progressing as they had, considering their former president, Robert Gates, as Secretary of Defense was overseeing a surge effort in Iraq that was bound to bring closure to the events of 9/11. Yep, life as an Aggie couldn't have been better. Then, without warning, in a school which prizes duty and honor above all, men who should have known better were derelict in their duty.


Please let the following serve as an official court martial of the three Aggies most deserving: Dennis Franchione, Rick Perry, and Billy Gillispie.


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The 3 Deadly Aggie Sins: Greed, Pride, Envy



The Court Martial of Billy Gillispie

Charged With One (1) Count of Betrayal

At the time that we wrote those words, Texas had lost in the NCAA tourney and Ass & Mule was alive and well, poised to make the Final Four. Yet, within days of the utterance of those seemingly-profound words, the animal-husbands from Bryan-College Station had suffered a tourney defeat to Memphis, ending their Cindarella dreams at an NCAA title. Within weeks of this humiliating loss, the Golden Boy of Aggie Hoops, Billy Gillispie, who had resurrected Aggie Hoops from downfall, had departed for the bright blue grass of Kentucky. His departure left Aggies bewildered and saddened. Their anger seemed more directed at UK and Ashley Judd than at Gillispie himself.

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". . . and at that moment a rooster began to crow." John 18:26 NIV

Gillispie is a Texas boy, born in Abeliene who worked his way up from a JV assistant coach at Killeen High to the head coach of Texas A&M. He was even an assistant coach at Baylor for a few years. It seemed that based on his career path, that he might have found his dream job in Texas A&M. But in less than three years after arriving, "BCG," as the Ags called him was gone. And with nothing to show for his time except for 3 straight 20 win seasons and 2 straight NCAA tournament berths. Why? The money? A&M ante'd up bukus of cash after the season was over, but BCG was having none of it. He wanted power, prestige and prominence. He wanted to coach at the dream school of any aspiring young careerist coach - Kentucky.

It was in this manner that Gillispie betrayed the Aggie faithful.

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So dark, the con of man

The Court Martial of Rick Perry

Charged With One (1) Count of Blasphemy, and Two (2) Counts of Douchebaggery

Governor Rick Perry, our inagural Aggie Douche, is no stranger to controversy. An Aggie Yell Leader, West Texas rancher, former Democrat, and Air Force pilot, Perry has worn many hats in his time on this earth. In a previous post, Aggie Douche, we discussed how unfathomable it must be for Aggies to see the first Aggie Governor of Texas giving the "hook 'em horns" salute on multiple occasions. These actions demonstrate his blasephemy.

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Saw Varsity's Horns . . . Um, I mean, Hook 'Em!

His douchebaggery consisted of his attempt to mandate HPV shots for every 11 yr old girl in Texas, which sounded like a noble, progressive cause for the neandrathal conservative governor, until it was reported that the Big Pharma corporation Merck stood to benefit handsomely from this arrangement. And who was representing Merck's interests in all of this? Why, none other than Perry's former chief-of-staff. Pitiful. If that wasn't bad enough, without warning, Perry cut the millions of state funds to community colleges that were earmarked for their employees health care. This was quite possibly the biggest blunder yet for a gubenatorial reign that looks to be the longest in Texas history (unless he decides to run for Prez or Vice President). No better way to piss of people across the ideological spectrum than to gut a community college budget. No community in America views these schools as anything other than indispensible. Pathetic.

It was in this manner that Rick Perry betrayed the Aggie faithful and all of Texas.

The Court Martial of Dennis Franchione

Charged with One (1) Count of Mediocrity

What can we say about Fran? We Baylor Bears love him so dearly for helping to make our schools competitive again in football. Thanks to Fran, we were able to secure a victory in 2004 - and they were ranked! Thanks to Fran, the Aggies actually have to worry a bit when they play Baylor. Thanks to Fran, Aggies are constantly upset and on edge. Yes, Fran has done more for anti-depressant sales in the Bryan College Station area than all the pharma reps in the region combined. He is so loathed by Aggies, that there are a number of sites dedicated to his removal, like FireFranPetition.com, or FireDennisFranchione.com, or FranUnderFire.com. Its basically an entire corner of the internet (which is shaped like a box, our interns tell us). Some anti-Fran Ags even call the renewed tension between our schools the "Franivalry." Hah!

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Thanks, Fran, indeed!

Last Thursday humiliating loss to Miami probably sealed his fate, but with Fran you never know. He'll most likely be around to lose bowl games on ESPN2 for another few years. He's a resilient creature who just keeps hangin' on. As long as Fran is at the helm, we here at Texas's Oldest University will always have a shot at bringing down those Aggies a peg or two.

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"I've been a naughty boy."

These are the men who have failed to perform their duty to the Corps. They have been court martialed and await their sentence. All that remains is for GuyMo, Blizzle Syzzle and Emily Ingram to finish them off and put them out of their misery.

Sic 'em, Bears!

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K-State Football Will Squeeze Your Mind Grapes

New chum Video: Power of CatLab

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Grant Teaff Pre-Game Speech at Buffalo

Thanks to the videography of Curtis Edmonds, we have a clip from Grant Teaff's speech to what look like a bunch of old, white Baylor types in upstate NY before the Baylor vs Buffalo game. Enjoy!


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Monday, September 24, 2007

The "M" Zone: Em's Wedding Website

In case you were expecting a post on Aggies, we apologize in advance. However, if you were looking for Emily Ingram's Wedding Website, then you have come to the right place. The site is full of great stories: their first date, the Suspension Bridge Proposal Night, the long-distance relationship from Waco to Afganistan, etc. Plus, there are plenty o' pics in case you need to visualize the happiest couple in McLennan County. One cannot resist feeling that these two lovebirds are confident enough in their engagement contract (sealed with a ring) that they have constructed a website to herald their obligations to the world (wide web). [Mighty fast to have a site, a church and a reception already planned, eh? Was someone expecting this engagement for months in advance?]

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Em & Her Soldier Boy

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Around the Quad: Book 'Em, Horns

As our loyal readers and associate editors have stated, this is a big week for The B and BearMeat. The Ass & Mule game means more to us than life itself. That having been said, we doubt last year's efforts will be topped. We present news from Around the Quad to give you a taste of some high quality BearMeat.

1. New ShortHorns Logo Unveiled! Thanks to the diligent reporting of The Triumvirate of Awesome, we discovered the brand new UT logo which should set the standard by which all high-crime NCAA programs are judged. Book 'em, Horns, indeed.

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2. Move over, Mike Leach, there is a new crazy sheriff in town: Okie State coach Mike Gundy. This tirade against the media has to be seen to be believed. Meltdown would be an understatement to describe this angry, unprofessional tirade in response to an allegedly unprofessional article written by the Daily Oklahoman about one of his players. While OSU did dispatch of Tech in fine fashion, Coach Gundy is in no mood to celebrate. Tip of the Hat to EDSBS.


Gundy: "This arckle is inaccrit."

3. AgricMeat: A Retrospective. In the interests of giving our readers some background to BearMeat's distaste for Ass & Mule, we would like to present a snapshot of last year's coverage.


Nothing Like a Britney-Fan Parody From the Ags

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Sunday, September 23, 2007

Bear vs. Bull: The Szyzzler Strikes Again

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For the substance of the game, we will await Curtis Edmonds' recap. Here is the ESPN Boxscore if you are interested. Also, keep abreast of Bruins Bold/Meek for his ongoing analysis. We will say that Blizzle Szyzzle dropped another 3 passing TDs and had 91 rushing yards as well as a bootlegged TD. Also, the story of the game seemed to be the resurgence of Baylor's defense and the emergence of a nascent running game; and all this against Buffalo! Way to go Bears! In three weeks we have dispensed of two of the worst teams in D1 and a I-AA team. Now we are truly ready for conference play. At least A&M isn't as good as they thought they were. Maybe we can take out Colorado or one of the teams from Kansas. We'll see. The WacoTrib photo gallery of the game includes 8 photos. Talk about the media event of the century.

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Run, Blizzle, Run!

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Bear vs Bull: Market Fluctuations

While the three ghosts of the Editorial Board will not be headed north for the Buffalo game (our spirits can roam no farther north than the Mason-Dixon line), we have dispatched an associate editor, Curtis Edmonds, Esq., to upstate NY to report on his experience within the next few days. While we know nothing of Buffalo, its school, city or team, we will dutifully report on news from around the Burleson Quadrangle.

1. New Em Zone! The newest video (masterfully filmed by Wendy Gragg) has the recently-engaged Em desperately searching for Aggie jokes at George's Tent. While her quest yielded very few family-friendly jokes, she did show off that regionally-famous charm which has endeared her to the hearts of all seventeen BearMeat readers. (Em Zone Archive)

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The Barbara Walters of the Brazos

2. Disco Tech! Offers Alternative Employment Ideas for Coach Fran. Disco Tech! is basically the BearMeat of Lubbock, except that they have at least one liscensed copy of Adobe Photoshop. Their skill with multimedia has yielded a hilarious photo series envisioning Ass & Mule's head coach, Franchione, in various employment scenarios following his humiliating loss to Miami. Link here.

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Cadillac Fran

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Friday, September 21, 2007

How To Stop the J-Train: A How-To Manual

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Aggie Defiance: Always Strongest Right Before Kick-Off

Sometimes when you watch a Texas Ass & Mule game in which they are going up against a worthy opponent you almost feel bad for them. Then you remember that they are the Aggies. On behalf of The B, I would like to extend a heart-felt congratulations to The U for dispensing of the Ags in such a resounding fashion. The 'Canes did what they do best: dominate in college football. The Ags did what they do best: disappoint. Fran did what he does best: give ulcers to Aggie alums in cubicles throughout Texas. Looks like somebody got gigged.

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McGee: "Why am I playing defense?"

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Meanwhile, back at Kyle Field, Two-Percenters ask "Why?"

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'Canes: We Don't Need No 12th Man, Just 11 Good Ones

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Freaks & Geeks: Baylor Line Edition

As much as I want to dislike the new Baylor PR Blog, Baylor Proud, I have a feeling that one of our interns is running things over there. Their slideshow, The Faces of the Baylor Line 2007, is absolutely hilarious. Enjoy the following photos, which are featured on their exhibit. Sic 'em, Baylor Proud?

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Brock? He's Everywhere!

This photo essay brings up an interesting question: who is the most famous Baylor fan? Darth Baylor? George Shelton? Growl Towel Dude? Scottish Kilt Dude? Let us know.